Dil To Baccha Hai Ji

Hello there! Welcome to all of you on our show. Your controversial and favorite man is back today for the movie review. We’ll be discussing Madhur Bhandarkar’s release, Dil to Baccha Hai Ji today. Please welcome,Lebnox!

“Welcome back! You look tired.”

“It’s all Madhur’s fault.”  He sighed.

“Ready for another session?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Moreover, I’ve got to buy medicines from the money you’ll be paying me today. I’m having a bad headache!” He winked. Finally. We smiled.

Q.1) Describe the movie in one word.

Lebnox: I don’t know. Waste? Bad? Soporific? Quote whichever adjective you like the most.

Q.2) Whoa! Why such strong reaction?

Lebnox: Cuz Dil to Baccha hai ji. (We thought his senses were damaged.)

Q.3) Err… Okay. You in a mood for the review or not?

Lebnox: Just finish this interview ASAP and let me go.

Q.4) We’ll make it quick. What about the performances?

Lebnox: Ajay Devgn was average. His comic timings were good at times. Omi Vaidya was a torture. I couldn’t stand his presence on the screen. Emraan Hashmi was excellent in the first half, but deteriorated in the second. Shazahn Padamsee was good but irritated with her dialogue delivery in a few scenes. Shruti Hasan still needs acting lessons. Shraddha Das is a novice. Tisca Chopra was first rate.

Q.5) Madhur Bhandarkar has attempted comedy this time. What would you like to say about it?

Lebnox: About whom? The director or the movie? (Really, he wasn’t in his regular moods today.)

Q.6) Director.

Lebnox: I think he should leave this genre for others. He is better in making those socially motivating, hard hitting movies.

Q.7) Kindly expand your view on the movie.

Lebnox: It’s like, you order a South Indian dish at a North Indian restaurant and you’re skeptic about how would it be like. You finally get it and you start eating it. Initially, a few pieces of the dish taste fine but after eating for some time, you start feeling irritated and pray for the dish to finish soon. (He’s hungry, we think so.)

Q.8) Okay. We got it. Did the movie bring smiles on your face?

Lebnox: It did. I mean it made me laugh at times. But, the overall effect of the movie was terrible. A few scenes were surely comic. They can make anyone laugh. But, most of the times, the movie was boring. Very boring. I fell asleep. Twice.

Q.9) For how long?

Lebnox: Don’t worry. For a few seconds. I watched  the full movie and I know the whole story. (We were wrong! He is in his full senses. Really!)

Q.10) Any positive thing about the movie?

Lebnox: Emraan Hashmi’s performance and Ajay Devgn’s expressions. And you can count the chemistry between the three guys in this list as well.

Q.11)  Should we ask about the storyline or ….?

Lebnox: Predictable. Three guys try to find love at wrong places. It’s basically about unrequited love, heartbreaks, and renewed hopes. Some of you may relate to some of the incidences shown in the movie. I did not.

Q.12) Hit or flop?

Lebnox: Can’t say. I guess average. Neither flop nor hit.

Q.13) Final Verdict?

Lebnox: Please save your time and money by skipping this one. Unless you don’t really have anything to do. Are badi bekaar movie hai yaar! And you people don’t dare twist my ratings anymore. I’m going with 1.5 out of 5. Do not change it. (He really wants to leave now.)

Like you read, he did not really leave for us anything to say. Nor, he said anything in private for us to quote.  So irritated he was! We’d pray for Indian Comedy movies to improve.  

Dhobhi Ghat

Hello again to all of you and welcome to our show. It’s been a long time since he first appeared on our show. Not that we had differences but he chose not to go public for a while. But, his hiatus has ended and he is ready again. He will be reviewing this Friday’s new release, Dhobhi Ghat. Please Welcome, Lebnox!

“Hello Lebnox! How have you been?”

“Like always, fantastic!” He smiled. We smiled!

“So shall we begin?”

“Nay! Bad idea. We’ll do it tomorrow.” He winked. We smiled.

Q.1) Describe the movie in one word.

Lebnox: Different!

Q.2) Call it Aamir Khan effect?

Lebnox: May be. May be not!

Q.3)  How different was it?

Lebnox: Very!

Q.4) And why such short answers?

Lebnox: Call it the Aamir Khan effect!

Q.5) Word on the performances?

Lebnox: The ladies are the real stars in the movie. Monica Dogra is perfect. Almost. She does a super fine job of a girl who has just come back from abroad to India to earn and learn. Expressions are perfect. Completely. Kriti Malhotra plays the small town girl, who has come to Mumbai for a living, with natural flair. She shows the gradually grown melancholy exceptionally well. Talking about the men, Prateik can rest now. I’m sure he finally has a future. Bright one! On the other hand, the person who let me down was the very person for whom everybody would love to watch this movie. Aamir Khan.  Sure his expressions and body language are strong along with his character. But somehow he does not fit in the movie. All the time you get a feeling he has been a miscast.

Q.6) So I guess that Aamir Khan effect has faded away?

Lebnox: (Laughs. Half-heartedly. Probably still not out of the movie shell.)

Q.7) So Aamir Khan has a cameo in it?

Lebnox: Who said that? I mean everybody did. Sure he has lesser dialogues than any of the lead characters in the movie but he is on screen most of the time. I guess, some would be happy after watching the movie and some would be not. Like me.

Q.8) Define different.

Lebnox: Poetic. Artistic. Documentary-ish. And different. (Smiles again.) I mean the handheld camera work with unsteady movements project the authenticity for sure but the technique used in story writing was unsatisfactory. It’s more of a documentary types. And slow. For sure. 95 minutes(without interval) seems like ages. Editing is razor sharp but shaky.

Q.9) How’s Kiran Rao?

Lebnox: Adventurous. Intelligent. And also has the support from a man named Aamir Khan. She sure has got brains, has a different thought process but needs help. Serious one. She needs to be reminded that the idea behind the publicity and film making should be same and not deceptive. A film which has Aamir Khan has to be either very thought provoking or very entertaining. Alas! The film fails to do neither.

Q.10) You’re so against the movie!

Lebnox: See, people will watch the movie for sure since they have seen such interesting promos and they know Aamir Khan’s name has been associated with it. I know they’re expecting something really out of the box so there should be someone who needs to be authentic. I did not say it’s a really bad movie. Right from the beginning I’ve been saying it’s innovative and different.

Q.11) What’s the storyline?

Lebnox: Try Google. You’ll get to know more accurate things. (Winks.) (Though we did not literally try Google. We just quoted him.)

Q.12) So the movie will be a hit?

Lebnox: I’m sure only about just one thing. It’ll not be a hit. Certainly.

Q.13) Final verdict?

Lebnox: For entertainment or emotional stimulation look elsewhere. There’s every reason you can miss this one. Unless you like to believe you’re among the intelligentsia.

And he rushed out. Important man. At least he believes himself to be. He texted us that he wanted to give the movie 3 stars out of 5. But based on the above interview I think we should go with 2.5. He also added a postscript stating everybody should go to the movie with a watch in case anybody feels the itch of checking the time. Such diplomatic man he is!